white lace bralette, white lace bralette pinterest, lace bralette pinterest
Lifestyle | Style

How To: Survive an Assassination Attempt

October 6, 2017

You’re probably wondering what on earth the correlation is between the title of this post, and the featured photo. Worry not, and stay with me. 


“I thought you were my friend! I thought we had resolved to weather the storms of life together, going hand in hand like best friends forever!” I screamed into the emptiness, my heart shattering into pieces minute after minute. I struggled to grasp and understand why this was happening to me. I wondered how I had ended up In this situation. I wondered how all the months and years of dedicated love and friendship had all boiled down to this.

 

Betrayal.

 

There was no response from the emptiness, and a mini-sword plunged into the chest of the betrayed girl. It plunged in deep as she let out a guttural scream, crumbling to the ground and writhing in pain until she died.


Okay, how does this blog post title, post introduction and feature photo even relate? Well, this post is about bras – more specifically, bras with UNDERWIRE.

lace bralette pinterest, black bralette

Underwire bras are like really good friends. They initially offer you all the love and support you need. Eventually though, their true nature is exposed and revealed by a little thing called time. When time comes into play, evil rears its head, leading to assassination attempts! The once loved and trusted underwire bra turns against you, and their most common act of betrayal is stabbing.

Yes, they jut out their metal mini-knives, jabbing into your skin and almost into your soul. They’re all psychopaths, waiting to unleash their rage on you if you maltreat them. What am I saying, you don’t even need to maltreat them for the seeds of betrayal to be sown!

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It is due to this experience, I have decided to make this post, because:

  • Some of us need to escape the clutches of the evil underwire
  • I want to show you my flat lays. Okay?

I was downtrodden, heartbroken after a completely new bra I bought off a UK website and eventually had delivered to me reared its ugly head. I felt the jab one day, and the pain was just unbelievable. It’s not the first time, and yet, I was oh-so-done. I tried to think of what to do, until one day I discovered a solution.

 

Ladies (and gents who are reading), I introduce to you: the bralette.

white lace bralette pink background with palm

For so long I’d trudged the dusty Abuja streets, wondering where my help would come from (my help comes from the lord, by the way, but I wasn’t looking to the hills. +10 points if you get the reference). One day, it dawned upon me that there was such a thing as bralettes. Once I got the chance to order, I got straight on it! I felt nothing but ecstasy when my bralettes landed, and I promptly threw my betraying underwire bras into the back of my wardrobe.

lace bralette pinterest, pink flatlay, flatlays pinterest

So yep, people. Are you tired of constant assassination attempts? Get a bralette! There’s a catch though: bralettes can’t support everyones bust. That seems to be the general consensus. Oh well, there’s always going bra-less, if that’s your thing.

I, on the other hand, am celebrating being on the itty bitty committee as I strut with confidence, knowing that no weapon (or underwire) formed against me shall prosper.

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Bralette – Aliexpress – N620 (here)

I bought these babies from Aliexpress. I was a bit scared I’d screwed up with my measurements (even if I am an itty bitty committee member), but once I tried them on, they slipped on so easily! I was in love! I felt all mysterious and comfortable. I ordered both colours, and I’m not looking back! The best thing is that shipping is free, but mind you, it takes more than 3 weeks to get delivered.

I love the photos in this post, honestly. Permit me to drool over my efforts! I love photos like this, and to create something like this makes me so happy! That way, I don’t have to rely on stock photos or wait for the day I’ll be threatened to be sued because I pinched a photo off Google! On the other hand, these lip glosses from Classic Makeup USA have been used more as flat-lay props, than lip glosses. Whoops.

This post wasn’t sponsored, it’s just for the bants, and I wanted to share my awesome find with you. Hello? #shopandtell


Have you ever been attacked by your underwire bra? Any solutions to the problem? Ever tried bralettes?

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  1. LMSAO…I was shocked!
    I just came by your blog and this is the first post title I’m seeing. For real babe??
    I scroll down and I’m seeing pictures of bra and I’m like hollup first. Lemme go and tell whoever it is that startled me to warn herself. Smh

    I’m coming oh. I haven’t even read what this post is about, I just had to comment…lol

    1. Hahaha…what a really fun way to write. Like you stole me from the post title. I’m in love. Your pink flatlay background is too classy.

      P.S:I’m still around. Lemme go and check your street…lol.

  2. Haha you surprised me come on this was so unexpected…I…you have the element of surprise the true element whatever that is.

    1. *Cries* Well, there’s always going bra-less o! That has existed way before these babies came into existence lol! I’m glad your attention was snatched

    1. Hey girl! Thanks for stopping by. I don’t really use any apps, just Snapseed to sharpen the photos. For my Instagram page I sometimes use VSCO to add filters. Pretty basic, because once you have good natural light everything just clicks sometimes tbh!

  3. lol about underwire bra: I only experienced those when I bought cheaply made bras which was back in my younger days. I can say that in the last 8 years, I haven’t experienced any of those poking. And I actually invest in quite pricey bras that are sturdy, and survive those assassination attacks

    1. Chai that’s probably my problem: cheaply made. Loool I can’t fork out more than like $10 for a bra, and it’s not even my money sef! I can’t wait to have a balanced bank ‘akkant’ with steady flow of income. Until then, I’m happy to be on the flat side when it comes to the chest area honestly. Bralettes are life

  4. Amaka!!! All the ‘expensive’ bras I keep buying in Nigeria always end up attempting to assassinate me until I get the object object of assassination out of the way first.

    I think bralette it is going forward!❤️

    You always get to me with your posts!

  5. Hahaha…I loved the metaphors ?. Gurllllll these bras ain’t loyal. I mean I feel like a boss when I get a new pair, then after a while they just flop and I’m like urggggg. I do have a bralette now. And also those stick on bras. Slowly moving away from these chest stabbing bras.

    1. Haha yessss! When they flop it’s just such a disappointment! Yasss you’re in bralette gang lmao *raises fist* we must leave these treacherous bras and only wear them when necessary o! I got the stick on bras once, but what annoys me about then is you can’t really wash them.

      They’re great when you have like a strapless piece on or something, but for day to day? Ehh bralettes for the win

    1. Omg thanks girl for taking interest in me! I love that you’re impressed with this post and I’m glad its the first one you’ve read lol! Hope you see other interesting things!

  6. Most of my bras have tried to stab me at one point or the other. Back-stabbing, Betraying bras. I’m too much of an alaroro to spend a lot of money on bras?.
    I want to give this bralette life a try, I don’t know how that will work out though. Going off now to check Aliexpress.
    Nice post?. Your posts are always very useful and entertaining.

    1. Lmaooo I feel on on the alaroro part. Why will I be making it rain on bras when there’s nothing to hold sef? Abeg let me just relax, at least bralettes when worn with denim jeans make me feel like some kind of Calvin Klein model or something, especially when small breeze enters from my window. Eh heh, no time for stress! Lol! Thanks for coming through once again!

    1. Ahh so you’re not a member, oh well, I guess you can continue patronising the traitors, but watch out for their backstabbing (or should I say front stabbing) nature!

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