What are your biggest fears? I feel everyone faces fear of something at some point in their existence. Be it things like spiders (spiders are disgusting, by the way) or bigger things like burdens of life & adulthood. Basically, fears can either be basic fears, or they can be something bigger. I’m sharing my biggest fears because these things are certainly what I do not want to end up having to deal with in the long run.
#1 – Going to Hell
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This has to be number one because it’s something that grips me each day. It worsens whenever I hear of people I know dying too. I’m always wondering where people who I know have died end up, whether they’re in heaven or hell. Of course, as a person believing in God and professing Christianity, heaven is very much a reality – and so is hell.
I don’t want to end up in hell because the thought of the word ETERNITY is gripping. Sometimes, I wish religion didn’t exist, but I know the truth and cannot afford to deter from it. It doesn’t help that my spiritual life is so lacklustre, and every day I fear that rapture will happen and I’ll be left behind. As someone who hates heat and can’t stand summer – especially when I lived in Australia – the thought of being in flames scares me to my core.
I think of heaven and hell and rapture basically every day. It’s not something to push it aside, because it’s going to catch people so unawares. I feel like crying for those who have died without knowing God and ended up in hell, I wish they could have a second chance. This life is not one to joke with – and we all need to think well about what happens after we die.
#2 – Marrying the Wrong Person
As someone who has witnessed a lot of rubbish between married couples, this is my second greatest fear next to going to hell! I’ve read various things on the internet, from forums where mothers rant about their spouses who are utterly useless and inconsiderate, to heart wrenching stories involving cheating, sexual diseases and a whole lot of nonsense.
It’s sickening that in this day and age cheating is to be expected from a male spouse – why?! I have set standards which I have written down for what I want in a husband, because after what I’ve been through and observed around me, a spouse is not one you compromise on. Till death do us part is a strong vow, and forever is a hell of a long time. Why the hell would I want to spend the rest of my life miserable? It’s a fate almost worse than going to hell itself.
It’s completely disheartening to hear stories of cheating, sexual abuse, domestic violence and other types of assault between spouses. And it doesn’t have to be the extremities that make a spouse bad – things like terrible judgement, poor manangement of funds as well as other irresponsible things can make the life of a family hell.
Life is difficult sometimes, I don’t need an irresponsible person to make things worse. I also don’t want to be the problem spouse, either. Living in a place like Nigeria where odds are usually stacked up against the woman, ending up in a bad marriage is a fate I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Everyone needs a spouse that will be able to be like a refuge – God being the first refuge.
#3 – Pregnancy At Wrong Time/Out of Wedlock
Not to say I’m judging all those that have gotten pregnant out of wedlock – it’s not really my business, and there are various circumstances that lead to such situations. These situations can be accidental or planned, either way, pregnancy out of wedlock is just terrible to me. I hate the thought of it happening to me. Why? I feel that you can lose out on so much of your life, having to now take care of another human being.
People say you can never truly be 100% ready to procreate, but I do feel there are certain things that must be in place. Of course, financial stability should not be underestimated (even then, financial stability can be gone in a few seconds), but what about mental preparation? You need to thoroughly understand the gravity of pregnancy and the aftermath – you need to know you’re going to be devoted to the maintenance and upbringing of another human being.
Things to Consider Before Pregnancy
I say out of wedlock, because I don’t want to ever even consider getting pregnant unless I am married – trust me, I’m not too hot on pregnancy. I’ve read enough horror stories and seen things to convince myself of this. This fear links back to fear number 2, because the last thing anybody should want is to get pregnant for a terrible individual – someone irresponsible, careless, immature, as well as other things.
Imagine having partner that doesn’t help out with the child when they see you struggling? Dismisses your complaints about pain by saying stupid things like “are you the only one that has given birth?” or even compares you to other women who have given birth. A partner who instead of trying to uphold your confidence, spits out remarks about your stretch marks and perhaps extra weight? One who tries to pressure you to lay with them again while you’re still healing? God forbid!
The wrong time doesn’t just mean out of wedlock, it’s any time you’re not prepared enough. It’s when you’re going through a very rough patch and it is no appropriate time for a child to come. It’s when perhaps you’re battling a health issue, or trying to achieve a certain goal. I don’t ever want to feel regret – I want to be as prepared as possible. And, postpartum depression is a thing. Yes, God’s time is the best time, as they say, but there are also times when it is very clear that pregnancy would not be ideal.
I was originally going to state 5 fears, but I think these 3 are pretty extensive as I’ve explained them in so much detail. Two other fears I have are wasting my talents, as well as not achieving my purpose. I believe everybody is born for a particular reason – to solve a particular problem. The problem may be global-scale or it may just be in the life of a singular individual. Either way, I want to discover my purpose, and not just discover, but also achieve it.
It’s been really hard, and I’ve wanted to discover mine since I was about 16 or so, but here I am at 20, still wondering. Sometimes I ask adults around me if they know what their purpose is. It’s discouraging when they answer that they’re still trying to figure it out – I just wish I could know mine. I wish when we all were born, we had a stamp on us stating our purpose or something. Since we’re not in a sci-fi movie, I’m just going to keep searching!
What are your biggest fears? What do you think of mine? I’d love to hear from you below!