What next is a question asked to people around the world in different variations. For some, it’s the perfect opportunity to start spinning tales of the plans for the future. For others, it’s a dreaded question. I think I fall into the latter category. What next season is the season where you get bombarded with all sorts of questions alluding to what exactly you have planned for your life. It typically comes at the end of something, the achievement of a particular milestone – finished high school? Gotten that degree? Completed NYSC? Reached a certain age? Gotten your first job? At some point people are going to ask you what’s up.

I am yet to be asked the question, but I’m nervous as to what I’ll actually say when I do get asked. Thing is, I don’t think I’m really one to organize the events of my life. I believe that you never know what life has in store for you, and your perfectly crafted plans – graduate at 20, find ozzband at 21, marry at 25, have all your kids before 30, dream career by XYZ age, own your home by XYZ etc – can get thrown up into the air or burned to ashes. So I’m more of a take it day by day kind of person. Sure, there are some goals you’re allowed to have because they lead to your betterment/personal development, but don’t be so frazzled about having things happen at a SPECIFIC time. You may not easily recover if things don’t go according to plan aka disappointment hits. Some people plan to be married by age twenty-fine but now at 30 are feeling empty, unhappy and unaccomplished because of the weight they attached to it.

I will strive to thrive in whatever season I find myself

I’m writing this post because in April 2019, I’ll be writing my final exams as an undergraduate law student as well as turning 21. In October thereabouts there’ll be convocation. “The future” feels closer and ever and I’m a bit confused about what to do next. Sure there’s law school, masters and NYSC – the typical Nigerian graduate package mix – but I have a lot of questions surrounding them. How will I survive law school? What am I going to do in the period preceding law school? Must I intern at a law firm or can I just continue to hone my product photography? What will my NYSC look like, if I do end up doing it? Must I get a Masters? I don’t even know what I want to master in, let alone where I’d do the Masters.

It’s a bit shocking because at first you’re a kid and you’re living your best life and seeing adults around you while not being an adult. Personally I’ve never been one to rush and long for adulthood, I always knew it was a scam. Now I’m considered an adult and I have to start doing big girl things, taking more control of my life! It’s honestly quite overwhelming and confusing, and I don’t want to think of it much but I have to. I have to learn essential skills I would previously run away from, especially considering I plan on living alone at some point/moving out – can’t exactly be posting #homeowner when you can’t face a cockroach on your own or change a lightbulb. I have to make better money decisions to feed my dreams of moving out. I also have to take into consideration my background and upbringing, determining the values I wish to hold close and who I want to be – as an individual, family member, partner, and MUCH LATER on, wife and mother (eeek!).

One thing I’m sure of, though, is I’m definitely not in a rush to get hitched and have children. To me, that period is a long time away. I’ve lurked on threads and Instagram pages enough to know that adulting is WORK WORK WORK, wifehood is WORK x70 and motherhood/parenting is WORK x 1Million. Those pedicured nails sporting shiny rings and happy couple/baby images don’t phase me, I’m all about self-care, self-actualization/development and securing the bag right now.

Of course, this is not to throw shade at people who do want those things, I just believe in dwelling in whatever season you’re in season and learning from it. if you’re single, please strive to thrive in your singleness. If you’re in a relationship, enjoy that too – as long as it’s a positive relationship. That’s cool.

So yeah, those are just my ramblings regarding the season of ‘what next?’. I hope I can cruise through and learn valuable lessons as I begin the REAL journey toward adulthood. It’s going to be scary, but I believe I’ve got this. Even on the days where I don’t, I’m going to try and get back up even when I fall down (this of course will be after groaning to nobody in particular, screaming into a pillow, furiously shaking my chest fruit and licking dry Bournvita and Milk/binge eating in general then hating myself after)

Oh what a joy, bring out the balloons!

What season are you currently in? How do you cope with adulting and the pressures of life?