Mind of Amaka

Personal Development + Photography

March 22, 2019

Welcome to ‘What Next?’ Season

What next is a question asked to people around the world in different variations. For some, it’s the perfect opportunity to start spinning tales of the plans for the future. For others, it’s a dreaded question. I think I fall into the latter category. What next season is the season where you get bombarded with all sorts of questions alluding to what exactly you have planned for your life. It typically comes at the end of something, the achievement of a particular milestone – finished high school? Gotten that degree? Completed NYSC? Reached a certain age? Gotten your first job? At some point people are going to ask you what’s up.

I am yet to be asked the question, but I’m nervous as to what I’ll actually say when I do get asked. Thing is, I don’t think I’m really one to organize the events of my life. I believe that you never know what life has in store for you, and your perfectly crafted plans – graduate at 20, find ozzband at 21, marry at 25, have all your kids before 30, dream career by XYZ age, own your home by XYZ etc – can get thrown up into the air or burned to ashes. So I’m more of a take it day by day kind of person. Sure, there are some goals you’re allowed to have because they lead to your betterment/personal development, but don’t be so frazzled about having things happen at a SPECIFIC time. You may not easily recover if things don’t go according to plan aka disappointment hits. Some people plan to be married by age twenty-fine but now at 30 are feeling empty, unhappy and unaccomplished because of the weight they attached to it.

I will strive to thrive in whatever season I find myself

I’m writing this post because in April 2019, I’ll be writing my final exams as an undergraduate law student as well as turning 21. In October thereabouts there’ll be convocation. “The future” feels closer and ever and I’m a bit confused about what to do next. Sure there’s law school, masters and NYSC – the typical Nigerian graduate package mix – but I have a lot of questions surrounding them. How will I survive law school? What am I going to do in the period preceding law school? Must I intern at a law firm or can I just continue to hone my product photography? What will my NYSC look like, if I do end up doing it? Must I get a Masters? I don’t even know what I want to master in, let alone where I’d do the Masters.

It’s a bit shocking because at first you’re a kid and you’re living your best life and seeing adults around you while not being an adult. Personally I’ve never been one to rush and long for adulthood, I always knew it was a scam. Now I’m considered an adult and I have to start doing big girl things, taking more control of my life! It’s honestly quite overwhelming and confusing, and I don’t want to think of it much but I have to. I have to learn essential skills I would previously run away from, especially considering I plan on living alone at some point/moving out – can’t exactly be posting #homeowner when you can’t face a cockroach on your own or change a lightbulb. I have to make better money decisions to feed my dreams of moving out. I also have to take into consideration my background and upbringing, determining the values I wish to hold close and who I want to be – as an individual, family member, partner, and MUCH LATER on, wife and mother (eeek!).

One thing I’m sure of, though, is I’m definitely not in a rush to get hitched and have children. To me, that period is a long time away. I’ve lurked on threads and Instagram pages enough to know that adulting is WORK WORK WORK, wifehood is WORK x70 and motherhood/parenting is WORK x 1Million. Those pedicured nails sporting shiny rings and happy couple/baby images don’t phase me, I’m all about self-care, self-actualization/development and securing the bag right now.

Of course, this is not to throw shade at people who do want those things, I just believe in dwelling in whatever season you’re in season and learning from it. if you’re single, please strive to thrive in your singleness. If you’re in a relationship, enjoy that too – as long as it’s a positive relationship. That’s cool.

So yeah, those are just my ramblings regarding the season of ‘what next?’. I hope I can cruise through and learn valuable lessons as I begin the REAL journey toward adulthood. It’s going to be scary, but I believe I’ve got this. Even on the days where I don’t, I’m going to try and get back up even when I fall down (this of course will be after groaning to nobody in particular, screaming into a pillow, furiously shaking my chest fruit and licking dry Bournvita and Milk/binge eating in general then hating myself after)

Oh what a joy, bring out the balloons!

What season are you currently in? How do you cope with adulting and the pressures of life?

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Uncategorized 18 Replies to “Welcome to ‘What Next?’ Season”
Amaka
A young girl trying to maneuver through life, while being an absolute weirdo with a wild imagination. I love Pinterest & Instagram and claim to love food although I barely eat.

COMMENTS

18 thoughts on “Welcome to ‘What Next?’ Season

    Author’s gravatar

    Amaka, I can so relate. I’m at the same point in life and I’m trying to not get scared about what lies ahead. I believe it’ll all work out in the end.

      Author’s gravatar

      I hope it will work out indeed! Stay strong girlfriend

    Author’s gravatar

    I totally can relate with you, I have learnt to take it as it comes. Yes! set some goals but not a specific time. I also learnt living a life of purpose helps ease the anxiety because you tend to focus on the why not the how.

      Author’s gravatar

      Focus on the why not the how is so true! There’s no rushing o, we all need to reduce the pressure we place on ourselves just a tad

    Author’s gravatar

    Oh how I missed you Amaka. As you said, just continue to thrive in whatever phase of life you are in. Take each day as it comes and constantly work towards being the best possible version of yourself. About law school, feel free to reach out to me whenever you are stuck.

    http://Www.blushesndbrushes.com

      Author’s gravatar

      I’m glad to know I was missed haha. I’ll definitely disturb you for law school because man is panicking well o

      Author’s gravatar

      That’s right! Thank you for the read!

    Author’s gravatar

    To be honest, adulthood is scary. The what next question can be draining as well. Concerning Masters, I strongly suggest you think it through because it doesn’t work for everyone. I’m at a phase in my life where I’m struggling with pitting a lot of things together but thank God that we dont look like what we’ve been through.
    http://www.debbrahmaxwell.wordpress.com

      Author’s gravatar

      Thank God o. Exactly, Masters is not something you just rush to do. But I feel if it’s not me paying for it I don’t mind doing one as per Nigerian societal requirements 😆 I hope you settle soon and everything comes together

    Author’s gravatar

    I lowkey laughed when I read through, because this was literally me a few years ago. Adulthood can be quite the maze, one maze that has no handbook .
    The key thing is to live happy and do all you can to be happy .

    You will be alright las las .

    Kené | http://www.kenekingsley.com

      Author’s gravatar

      Maze without handbook – as in! Thank you uncle Kene the model

    Author’s gravatar

    So, this is me! I over think though cause I get lots of anxiety but if I tell you I have it all together and I’m doing it on my own, I’ll be lying. It’s God that has held me if not I’d have broken down especially now NYSC is close (I so dread that). However that’s life and as it comes we really don’t have a choice. Eventually it passes and we look back and smile. I remember when I was scared of junior waec, senior waec, final year project and even my MLS foreign graduate program but look at me now, all done and dusted. So I know when it’s time, I will cross the bridge successfully.

    theroyaldeviant.com

      Author’s gravatar

      We’ll always cross the bridge when the time comes, amen! Thank you Nakas for the comment 💐

    Author’s gravatar

    I think the quote ”strive to thrive in whatever season you find yourself” is so valuable for anyone undergoing adulthood pressure whether internal or external…
    I enjoy your style of writing and wittyness Amaka..well done

      Author’s gravatar

      Thank you so much Toyosi! I like the quote too and I’m proud of myself for thinking it up, haha

    Author’s gravatar

    Love what you said abou thriving in whatever season you find yourself, that’s so important. Also, amen to not being so rigid about plans or the specific age you achieve something. According to my plans when I was in high school, I’m supposed to be in my second/third year at Imperial College in London studying medicine. Of course, it was a blow when it didn’t happen that way and since then, I’ve learned to not put so much pressure on plans.

    I truly believe that you will be led in the way that you should go. Life has a funny way of putting you right where you should be, this sounds very vague but it’s true. Hoping you figure everything out, one step at a time. xx
    Coco Bella Blog

      Author’s gravatar

      Amen girl to one step at a time! Thank you for stopping by the blog – your comments are always appreciated. Lool some plans we set for ourselves not knowing what life has in store ehn

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