Listening to: Beat de Chez Beat (Coupe Decale) by Iboyi Pepe Ndeye
I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with myself, especially considering that I am part of the female species. The hate phase was intensified when I was transitioning into teen-hood.
I experienced a phase of growth, which was challenging at some points. I believe a reason I also disliked being a female was because of the societal challenges that were attached just for being born female in most places.
Oh yeah, also, periods. Who decided that was a good idea eh? Is there anybody in this Earth who can honestly look me in the eyes and say ‘I enjoy bleeding every month for a few days. It’s always such an exhilarating experience’? NO. Even If you can say it, I don’t want to hear it!
Today, however, I am happy that I can sit back and appreciate some perks of being female. I realized that there is awesomeness attached to being a female, though there may be ups and downs as life goes on (sigh).
Also, there’s this whole prevalent belief that females hate each other and are in constant competition with one another (Cue: Pepper Dem Gang by Olamide). Fighting over men, and other trivial things.
While it may be true in some cases, I just want to sprinkle a bit of positivity powder.
Let’s get to it.
- Personalities, Shapes and Sizes
Am I the only one who checks out other girls more than guys? Sure, I had a phase where I was all guy-crazy (ahem, Trey Songz), but now I am definitely more interested in my fellow females!
I’m perfectly straight. When I talk about admiring other females, I mean it in a completely non-romantic way. It amazes me how diverse females are in personality, shapes and sizes across all age ranges, and I see them all over my Facebook feed, Twitter timeline, Instagram, Tumblr & even WordPress reader. I honestly appreciate females for all their uniqueness.
(Yes, guys also come in different personalities, shapes and sizes but hello? Female appreciation post!)
Most times, wherever I go I’m basking in the awesomeness of another ladies’ skin, shape, clothing, hair, makeup, personality, achievements etc. I’m throwing them all sorts of compliments in my head!
TBH: I haven’t always been like this. I used to constantly roast and find things to pick on, but I attribute this to my lack of self-confidence back then. I guess misery loves company, like they say. I’ve tried to change for the better now.
We come tall, come short. We come in a range of different skin tones, a range of face types – long, heart, oval – you name it! We come skinny, curvy, chubby, plus sized. There’s just so much diversity when it comes to women! Short hair, long hair, straight, curly. I appreciate the versatility that comes with being a female! I know most are tired of being seen as sexual objects and that’s a sad reality. However, I must appreciate the abundance of beauty and diversity when it comes to women!
- Diversity in Clothing
I have always appreciated being a female because of this. When I look at menswear, all I feel is confusion and acute boredom. In my eyes, all guys wear are shirts (dressy/fancy/corporate), t-shirts, singlets, boxers and pants (long or short) and that’s about it.
Then they also wear dressy, fancy shoes or the usual sandals, sneakers etc. Basically, I feel with menswear it’s either casual or corporate. All in all, that bores me to tears. Don’t get me wrong; I’m sure if I was a guy/actually knew my way around menswear, I would think otherwise.
On the other hand, when I think of how much clothing is available to females, It is simply amazing! We have all sorts – tops of different lengths, designs, patterns and prints, skirts, pants, dresses, high heels, low heels, flats, hats, handbags, purses, etc. There’s just so much made available for us! Now, sometimes this can actually be a negative as so much choice can bring confusion and make us spend more money (cough, me especially). Somehow though, I wouldn’t trade the diversity in clothing for anything!
- Other Women
I also like being a female because of other women. What do I mean? Well, other women and their achievements! Let’s face it, women have come a long way in the struggle to be allowed more opportunities to thrive. This development has seen women achieving amazing feats! I feel some appreciation about being a female when I hear of women doing amazing things, especially when they had to face serious trials. Some of my favourite women include:
- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – An author I love and adore! So graceful, so smart.
- Oprah Winfrey – A Queen.
- Michelle Obama – A pillar of strength, even when so many were dragging her for the most trivial reasons, calling her a man and whatnot.
- Oby Ezekwesili – Another amazing woman! She’s so strict and no-nonsense. She’s the perfect mentor.
- Asiyami Gold – Do I really need to explain this?
These are well-known names, but let’s also come to the grassroots level. I see many awesome women every day, going about doing their thing. Hustling, working towards a better tomorrow for themselves and their families. From the women at the markets selling foodstuffs, the ones hawking, the ones starting whole businesses from their rooms, the ones in offices. I appreciate all of them because I know that they are going somewhere. Everyday females that inspire me are;
- Queen – Queen is one of my mains who I go to when I need to do my hair. I go to her for fixing, and she does a pretty good job in my opinion! What is amazing is that when I first patronized her, I thought that she was just one of the workers because of her small stature (I’m a giant next to her). Imagine my shock when I realized she was the salon owner! She owns a small but gorgeous salon at Apo Fish Market, Apo Resettlement, Abuja. It’s completely pink! 22 and making something for herself!
- Linda Iriza (@lindvv) – Yass, why would I not shout out my very own co-owner of ELCI? Linda, a Rwandese queen, has always been an amazing person, inside and out. She amazes me with her creativity and perspective on life. I will always appreciate her, because she introduced me to many awesome things that have shaped me.
To see how awesomely creative she is, see her works on @elcithreads!
- Happiness Uwingabire (@happi_u) Owner, Beat by Happi – Also my best friend from high school! Happi faces a lot of challenges especially with her health but she is still out there doing great things! She recently started her makeup business (@beatbyhappi) and I enjoy seeing her beat faces on Snapchat. She’s always been awesome, and weird like me!
- Anike Oladimeji (@anikethebosschick) CEO, Anike Herbal Solutions – At this point, you guys probably think I know her personally. I don’t o, but there’s something about her that makes me keep talking. She’s just awesome, starting a whole skincare business and growing so quickly.
- Joan Akob – (Blogger, The Curly Christian) Frankly, all bloggers inspire me, as content creation is an amazing process. Joan stands out, especially because she’s just awesome. She’s like a big sister, writing about her experiences with life. Her posts are rich and full of life. Here are my favourites:
- When People Mock You and Label You What You Are Not
- Wife Me | Double Standards For The Miss
- Coming Face to Face with the Demon of Lust
All in all, though there are some things which just make you dislike being a female sometimes, some things (and people) make it just a little more awesome! To end, I’ll leave this:
In fact, writing this post has inspired me to do a little challenge! Stay tuned for the future post!