How To: Survive an Assassination Attempt
You’re probably wondering what on earth the correlation is between the title of this post, and the featured photo. Worry not, and stay with me.
“I thought you were my friend! I thought we had resolved to weather the storms of life together, going hand in hand like best friends forever!” I screamed into the emptiness, my heart shattering into pieces minute after minute. I struggled to grasp and understand why this was happening to me. I wondered how I had ended up In this situation. I wondered how all the months and years of dedicated love and friendship had all boiled down to this.
There was no response from the emptiness, and a mini-sword plunged into the chest of the betrayed girl. It plunged in deep as she let out a guttural scream, crumbling to the ground and writhing in pain until she died.
Okay, how does this blog post title, post introduction and feature photo even relate? Well, this post is about bras – more specifically, bras with UNDERWIRE.
Underwire bras are like really good friends. They initially offer you all the love and support you need. Eventually though, their true nature is exposed and revealed by a little thing called time. When time comes into play, evil rears its head, leading to assassination attempts! The once loved and trusted underwire bra turns against you, and their most common act of betrayal is stabbing.
Yes, they jut out their metal mini-knives, jabbing into your skin and almost into your soul. They’re all psychopaths, waiting to unleash their rage on you if you maltreat them. What am I saying, you don’t even need to maltreat them for the seeds of betrayal to be sown!
It is due to this experience, I have decided to make this post, because:
- Some of us need to escape the clutches of the evil underwire
- I want to show you my flat lays. Okay?
I was downtrodden, heartbroken after a completely new bra I bought off a UK website and eventually had delivered to me reared its ugly head. I felt the jab one day, and the pain was just unbelievable. It’s not the first time, and yet, I was oh-so-done. I tried to think of what to do, until one day I discovered a solution.
Ladies (and gents who are reading), I introduce to you: the bralette.
For so long I’d trudged the dusty Abuja streets, wondering where my help would come from (my help comes from the lord, by the way, but I wasn’t looking to the hills. +10 points if you get the reference). One day, it dawned upon me that there was such a thing as bralettes. Once I got the chance to order, I got straight on it! I felt nothing but ecstasy when my bralettes landed, and I promptly threw my betraying underwire bras into the back of my wardrobe.
So yep, people. Are you tired of constant assassination attempts? Get a bralette! There’s a catch though: bralettes can’t support everyones bust. That seems to be the general consensus. Oh well, there’s always going bra-less, if that’s your thing.
I, on the other hand, am celebrating being on the itty bitty committee as I strut with confidence, knowing that no weapon (or underwire) formed against me shall prosper.
Bralette – Aliexpress – N620 (here)
I bought these babies from Aliexpress. I was a bit scared I’d screwed up with my measurements (even if I am an itty bitty committee member), but once I tried them on, they slipped on so easily! I was in love! I felt all mysterious and comfortable. I ordered both colours, and I’m not looking back! The best thing is that shipping is free, but mind you, it takes more than 3 weeks to get delivered.
I love the photos in this post, honestly. Permit me to drool over my efforts! I love photos like this, and to create something like this makes me so happy! That way, I don’t have to rely on stock photos or wait for the day I’ll be threatened to be sued because I pinched a photo off Google! On the other hand, these lip glosses from Classic Makeup USA have been used more as flat-lay props, than lip glosses. Whoops.
This post wasn’t sponsored, it’s just for the bants, and I wanted to share my awesome find with you. Hello? #shopandtell
Have you ever been attacked by your underwire bra? Any solutions to the problem? Ever tried bralettes?