My ‘Beauty’ Fails


P.S. As one of my faves Kemi taught me (here), beauty doesn’t automatically mean makeup. Making beauty synonymous with makeup simply gives off the vibe that makeup  (the physical) alone is what makes one beautiful, but we all know that is a lie.



Okay, I’ve already told you (here) that my makeup journey definitely didn’t start smoothly. I’m getting better now, but still have quite a long way to go! I recently read a hilarious post by my girl Didi from The Blackk Beauty, which had me seriously smiling! People say that makeup doesn’t really have rules, each person has their own touch and interpretation of it.

Related My Top 10 Beauty Faux Pass

They usually say this when someone gets called out for a certain thing they did, which is a bit out of the norm. I remember one of such occasions, where a certain make up artist posted a tutorial video. She SLATHERED on heaps of concealer followed by an equally crazy amount of foundation in this tutorial. What made me a bit irritated was that she had absolutely clear skin, so much product was being heaped on her face, and it didn’t even look properly blended at the end of the day. Who am I to talk anyway? I’m no Jackie Aina/Dimma Umeh/Omabelle.

colour corrector, concealers

I mean, she ‘glowed’ when she did the typical ‘oooh I’m-done-now-watch-me-whip-this weave-around-while-batting-my-eyes-because-I’m-feeling-myself‘ movements at the end of the video. However, I cried inside for the amount of product that was used. Plus, sometimes what you see on camera and what you see in reality can be two very different worlds apart.

Anyway I am half subscribed into the “there are no makeup rules” school of thought. This is probably because unblended, 10 shade lighter concealer around the eyebrows will always be a crime. Don’t drag me, you know it’s true. For other aspects of makeup, I can throw that line around, but maybe it’s just because I haven’t figured them out. 

makeup flatlay 4

Now that my short ramble is over, let’s get to the crux of this post! I’m a semi-beginner when it comes to makeup, and it is so obvious I have a long way to go. Here are things I fail at when it comes to “beating the face”. Hopefully one day I’ll overcome them and enter a whole new world of makeup. Until then, I remain at the sidelines, hidden in the darkness, eyes fixated on the faces of women with bomb makeup as they pass me by.

Here are the beauty things I suck at!

Eye Shadow

I have a love-hate relationship with eye shadow. I’m still trying to figure things out. I struggle between choosing matte or shimmery shadows. I feel matte gives a clean look, but then, shimmery looks so nice on photos I see pop up on my social media feeds now and then. This inner battle stems from my personality, as I don’t like to overdo certain things, especially makeup. 

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Another complication is with the actual application of the makeup itself. I see all these Youtube tutorials, and hear things like ‘hooded eyelids’, ‘inner crease’, ‘transition shade’ and ‘cut crease’. Why do I need a shade to transition to another colour? Can’t I just slather on one colour on my eye lid and be on my way? Some things should be made easy, if my outfit is made from blue chiffon, I should wear blue eyeshadow to match, or any other colour that compliments. What’s all this about transition eh?

I’ve tried to put eyeshadow on, but it’s definitely an art. The eyeshadow palette in the photo is one I got off a Chinese website. It’s matte, but quite useless to me. There’s barely any pigmentation, and those brown shades look dusty. I should’ve thrown it away, but I’m glad I didn’t, because It helped me in this lovely photo above.

Eye Liner

Every time I envision myself using eye liner, I fear that It’ll end up with me stabbing myself or painting my white eyeballs black or something. It’s simply petrifying. So, with that fear in mind, I humbled myself and stayed away. On some rare occasions I’ve put it on in an attempt to get that wing, but .. it’s just not working out.

eye pencils

False Lashes

Unfortunately I had no falsies lying around to fit into the photo, but you get the gist! I haven’t really had great experiences with false lashes. I keep getting terrible quality lash products, leading to:

  • A highly artificial looking eye-area. The lashes are so fake it’s like you slapped on plastic on your eyelid and left the house.
  • Inferior glue + inferior lash + a matter of time = half of lash popping out in a few hours = mortification and embarrassment. This happened to me at two of my high school formal events – a cruise, and even the ball! I was begging around for lash glue. Disgraceful.

eyelash glue

Maths has never been my strong point in life, but anybody can see that equation is a recipe for disaster. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Foundation

Someone might read this and go ‘really? still on the foundation matter?’ Yes, my brethren, foundation is still very much a fresh struggle. I am currently using L.A. Pride which says ‘oil control’ but actually doesn’t control anything let alone oil. 

If you are a dedicated blog reader with a good memory, you’ll know that when it comes to foundation I have the worst luck, evidence:

How Fake Foundation Taught Me to Speak Up | My Makeup Story: The Queen of Grey

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If you remember from the post on my fake foundation experience (linked above), I ended up with another foundation which I was excited to use. It turned out to be terrible, not because it was fake (it was the real deal), but because it made my face grey. I guess it had cool undertones and I’m warm or something.

Ever since my friend quietly called my attention to my grey face one day in school (resembling the moon iPhone emoji – one of my faves) I threw the foundation to the side and haven’t touched it since.

I’ve decided to save for a proper foundation which won’t let me down. A foundation which will at least keep my oily face from unleashing itself prematurely (at least 5 hours). So far, my eyes are fixated on the Hegai and Esther Photo Perfect Foundation, or the Maybelline Fit Me Foundation. Wish me luck (AGAIN)!


Weaves & Closures

Ah, yes. Unfortunately I have no accompanying flat lay because I don’t casually have closures laying around. Plus, the closures in the packs of hair I usually get should not be considered closures. I realised I sucked at this ‘beauty’ factor one day while going through the ever-messy forums at Lipstick Alley.

*BTW, Lipstick Alley is basically like The Shade Room but anonymous, and 20x messier. I recently saw @serrabellum (one of the best IG accounts) being dragged, and it was really terrible. Just goes to show you have to be careful who you let into your life, because once scorned or left, this person can destroy you. I searched her up wanting to see more about her seemingly awesome and aesthetically-pleasing life, and got way more than I bargained for.

In the dark streets of Lipstick Alley, people get dragged. A lot. One thing people seem to focus on especially is the closures. A lot of celebrities and popular faces get criticised for their closures and I feel so confused. I’d see threads on some popular hair tutorial Youtubers, and people would be saying oh their wig is this etc. It looked fine to me! Then again, some might be saying it out of spite.

What does the perfect closure look like? To me, it’s just having a nice clean line for a parting on a wig/weave. I didn’t know it was a whole other complex world. The makeup/hair world astounds me every day. 


Anyway, that’s all the makeup things I suck at. If there’s someone out there that sucks at the same things I do, just let me know so we can battle this out together! The world of #facebeat is tough! 

On the other hand, if you have any tutorial recommendations, I’m down for reading/watching when I have time. Just let me know.

Hope you’ve enjoyed the post! I loved taking the photos, and writing it. I feel like I’m on a roll lately, honestly.

1395 words? #unapologetic


Are you into makeup? What makeup stuff do you suck at/what did you suck at before but have now gotten the hang of? Who are your go-to teachers for makeup?

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47 comments

  1. I can soooo relate on the eye shadow part, i just started adding it to my going out make up routine and I don’t go out alot. FENTY beauty seems to be the best foundation giving them “life” at the moment or even Estee Lauder double wear foundation. But they are so expensive , moving on to closures *sigh* yeah there’s a difference, there’s closure and there CLOSURE. I’m at that point where I have accepted I cant keep up with these trends, if i try my bank account will suffer.

    1. Girl Fenty beauty looks so good! I hope it’s affordable! I don’t go out a lot either, but when I do I want to look good, you feel me? Estee Lauder and other names I can’t pronounce smoothly I just shy away from. I hope one day I’ll figure out what the difference between closure and CLOSURE is, lol!

      1. Yeah I get you . It does look good but I feel like because of the hype it just might not live up to expectations and we are not allowed to complain o. ??? honestly there’s a difference

  2. Hahahahhahahhaha. This Amaka is not a serious somebody at all.
    I had struggle with all, as I was never really a makeup person… But when I started, Brows was a MAJOR problem…. I can only say thank God for what I know now Ooo!!!!!
    Well, YouTube won’t tell you why you should do this or that, they just get on with it..

    I enjoyed reading this……. I hope you’re able to find your prefect shade

    1. Haha what made you say I’m not serious? Ah I’m a serious o! In fact *puts serious face on* you’re right lol. For a bit my Whatsapp status was ‘currently pretending to be a serious person’. and It was so true. Imagine, someone who wasn’t really a makeup person turning into a beauty blogger! What an epic switch up lol. Brows were the first thing I worked on, so now I have no problem with them at all! Fingers crossed I do find my perfect shade!

  3. Your flatlays are popping tho. And if it makes you feel good, I totally suck at EVERYTHING! I suck so bad, I don’t even bother to try again. I am just thankful to God that I can afford to go about my day with my bare skin and my eye brows are naturally bushy and don’t need to be filled in. Great post! I enjoyed it. And thanks for the S/O girl. I appreciate that 🙂

    1. Thank you! And thanks for coming thru when you probably got the notification of the pingback. Chai, well the sucking at everything works for some people but for others (ahem me) it just is unacceptable sometimes! Hyperpigmentation and acne won’t let me be great

  4. I’ve never used false lashes because I doubt how I’ll look with them, and no matter how hard I try, I never get the eyeliner right. Right now I’ve been off makeup for about 3 months because I don’t have 3 hours to battle with it in the morning. That is my biggest fail! Where people do theirs under 30 minutes tops, I spend close to 3 hours (no kidding), and I have to get to work by 6a.m. So I just dab on my lipstick only! and I’m off. Lol.

    1. False lashes can either fit someone really well, or make them look like one of those dolls we got as kids which blinked whenever you moved them. If you don’t have the time to put on the makeup, nobody can even talk to you o, just be on your way lol! You have things to do. I leave the house by 7 usually so I wake up at 5 each day, most times I bother to put on some makeup but don’t really go into the details. Thanks for coming by!

  5. I’m the worst with eyeshadow. I have small eyelids and when I attempt to apply it myself, it never looks right or sits well?. Now, I don’t even bother. The only time I have eyeshadow on is when someone else does my makeup. Btw, your flatlays are nice!!!

    1. The struggle can be real with eyeshadow. It’s one thing to want to apply it, and then your eyelids don’t want to allow you be great! Thanks for the comment lol and I appreciate that you appreciate my flatlays!

  6. Biko who is Hegai and Esther? Are you getting foundation from the Bible? ???
    Make up is practice. If you set your mind to it, you get it. One day at a time. Nice flat lay shots between.

    1. Deaaaad ‘foundation from the bible’ I will call them to beat you o! Haha they’re even a Nigerian makeup brand lmao! Practice makes perfect indeed, thank you for noticing the flat lay works, and leaving such a funny comment

  7. Up until last week, I used to suck at false lashes too. But at least 15 Youtube videos, 3 tweezer, 2 lash glues and 4 different lashes after, I’m a pro!???

    1. I hail o lol, 15 Youtube videos, I don’t think I have the patience because you know sometimes these people like gisting unnecessarily and the 15 minute video actually starts at 7 minutes smh lol. Let me go and look for ones that look like they make sense to save to ‘watch later’

  8. I love this post, as a beauty enthusiast it is so interesting to hear others opinions on beauty! Good foundations I would recommend for you are Estée Lauder Double Wear Foundation and Lancôme Tint Idole Ultra Wear Foundation. Both are very good for full coverage and good for oily skin. Also for good eyeshadow palettes check out beautybay.com, they have all sorts that are also very affordable! I think the thing with application is just sufficient practice really. I’m still trying to improve my eyeshadow game it is definitely an art and a real life skill!!!

    1. Thanks for stopping by! My only issue now is that I am no where in a position to spend over N5000 on a foundation. I’m just a student, one who is looking at their pennies very closely. That’s why I’m looking at the Maybelline Fit me. I don’t want to spend so much when I’m still starting out and have no steady source of income, you feel? Haha. Good luck with your eyeshadow application!

      1. I was at event weeks ago and we had a makeup class. The MUA used a foundation called Glam which sells for 3500 – 3,700. It was really good, just check out the review online, you just might like it.

  9. I agree with red, makeup is practice unless you have super powers, Lol. The good thing is that your eyeshadow came out useful in this pretty flatlays of yours. Also get an eye primer, i bet you that eyeshadow will pop!
    I can’t relate with all the fails because i actually enjoy making up, you need to see me encouraging my sisters to draw their eyeliner well and i’m disappointed every time because it comes out terrible! And another annoying thing is that they aren’t keen in learning.
    Amaka, Just keep practising eventually you will get the hang of it.

    1. Abi, thank goodness for the usefulness of the eyeshadow. Eye primer I have, let me go and hijack from my mother. See you, you never relate with my style or makeup fails o! I wish I was as experimental as you, but I’m entering that stage, I believe. Lol come and be encouraging me to do my makeup well, I need cheerleaders! Definitely will keep practicing!

  10. Amaka! You will not kill me! ???I think I have foundation problems myself, I have felt the Greg face sister so my foundation is now used to conceal my eyebrows making them look more natural. closure what? What happened to basic partings? This world is never satisfied! About that eye shadow palette, I know a dustbin, really close to my room. I could help you ‘dispose’ it off, just holla! I love this and we struggle together! More grease from your face to your elbow! ???

    1. Exactly, grey foundation turns to concealer by force, can’t let it go to waste! Haha. Please oh ask them what happened to basic partings. Lol if you’re serious about the dustbin, I can give it to you o, but I’ve had it for like 2 years so I don’t know if that’s healthy. if you really want it, I don’t mind handing it over. “More grease from your face to your elbow” you’re not serious looool!

      1. Lol! Amaka! Make up expires but I’m pretty sure I can find use for it. I’m serious, this is an Eco friendly dustbin, no waste, just turn it into gold! Hand it over, biko! I love your writing style!

  11. This is just hilarious!! My major problem now is false lashes?. My lashes are short, stubby, curly and generally very annoying and uncooperative. Wearing false lashes is such a struggle, and I’ve watched countless YouTube tutorials. I’ve just chosen to ignore the lashes wahala for now. I cannot come and go and die because of lashes. I love every other aspect of makeup and enjoy making up. I love your flatlays btw?

    1. Glad you found it hilarious! I really enjoyed writing this post lol. Eeeyah, I am sorry for you on the lashes wahala. Just keep trying when you gather strength again eh? My favourite part of makeup would be like.. foundation

  12. This is a nice post I could totally relate to. First of all getting my perfect foundation shade and the whole highlight and contour routine in the beginning was a hustle but am over that now. Then putting on falses is a nightmare till date, it literally takes me forever to put them on but when I do it’s worth it. Makeup is not easy but the process of learning has been so exciting.

  13. I’m a mascara, eyeliner(when I feel like it), lipstick and powder girl. All day. I have a full tube of MaryKay foundation that I don’t use. I’ve given up on brows, no time for them. So those 4 products for me. Lol @ Hegai and Esther being from the Bible. Such a coincidence that I came across them on my explore page just this evening. I don’t understand the closures life. Lol. xx
    http://Www.laitanbee.com

  14. You have more makeup than I do… I should just cry.
    I can do an OK makeup on myself depending on the mood of my untrimmed almost scanty eyebrows.
    Had a hate relationship with eyeshadows because they tend to make my eyes more swollen.I found out also recently that I’m on the team hooded lids and so I looked up eyeshadow collaborations(Lmao) that would be great on me and I’ve been loving them eyeshadow.
    I don’t have any makeup item,just a concealer brush for my brows but when I come in contact with makeup, I werk it out. Recently learned the contour Ihe niile after collection a pictorial album…lol.

    I’m yet to learn them highlighting and glow and yes…ive never used faux lashes.

    P.S:And do I spy r.t brushes on your flatlays. Damnnn girl!

    1. Lmao real techniques? Girl it’s Aliexpress techniques ooo lol! I don’t have the coin for that level rn! I’m on team hooded lids too and I’m also trying to figure things out!

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